Food Glorious Food

Over the past several years, food has been an ever-changing issue in our lives. Even before we had our girls, Barbara and I were constantly re-evaluating the things we were buying at the store or where we were going out to eat or what we were eating when we went out. When we had decided we were going to bring a child into this world, my wife took it upon herself to focus on making our food intake "healthier". I think like most younger parents these days, we started hearing the "organic" buzzwords flying around...and so we jumped on that bandwagon because we thought that would be "the best" for our kids.

Over the next few years we went through various other dietary changes...all with the intention of making our lives healthier. The problem we discovered was that we wouldn't ever stick to a strict diet...that whenever we got busy or tired or just lazy, that we would abandon the "diet" and just go back to the things that we loved the most...which usually weren't all that healthy for us. At one point along the way, I made an interesting self-discovery. My wife had suggested to me the umpteenth diet change...and at that point I probably got a little too frustrated with her...and so I basically told her I was sick of it and wanted to stop.

After some discussion with her...and probably a lot more thought about it on my part...I figured out one important fact about all the diets we've been through. And that was, every time we went through one of these diets...after we had learned everything we felt we could from it...that even if we stopped doing the full-on diet, we always would take something from the diet that we continued to incorporate in our everyday food choices.

Most recently, we went to hear some people talk at Rethinking Everything that helped us to rethink and redefine our family. One of the big changes was to move more towards allowing our kids to decide what they want to eat and when...basically letting them decide when they were hungry and how much they should be eating...putting more trust in them and understanding that they know their bodies better than we do. 

Now, that doesn't mean that they can eat whatever they want when they are around the house...we still have some "control" because we still buy whatever food that comes into the house...but they are more than welcome to any of the choices we do have at hand. So at those times when one of them might ask for something that's not in house...we just have to explain to them that we don't have that particular item...and then we show them all of the things that we do have. It's pretty easy for them make a choice from one of the healthy options we have...and they always enjoy what they're eating. It's amazing what the power of choice can bring to a child...empowering them so that they feel they control their own lives. And we're happy about it because they're eating the things that we like.

We do try to make a habit of not bringing any food items that we would consider "unhealthy" into our home. Now that doesn't mean that we don't go out to eat or occasionally buy "unhealthy" items...but we do try our best to do it as infrequently as we can. We buy organic foods when we can afford them...we buy lots of fruits, vegetables, and minimally processed foods...we've also stopped buying most foods with processed sugars in them (this is the most recent change).

Because my girls tend to snack off and on all day long, it's often the case that they don't eat a full meal at dinner...because they're just not hungry. Sometimes when we're around people that don't understand this, they think that we're not feeding our kids enough. What most frustrating from all this, is that I would expect that most everyone would see our food choices for our kids as good choices...that they would see how healthy and happy our kids are with what they eat...yet we still get comments about them. Sometimes we get comments about our 3-year old daughter that she's too skinny...yet she always eats every time she gets hungry. And I hate to mention it, but haven't these people seen my own physique? I weigh roughly the same weight that I did whenever I was in high school...I'm skinny now and I've always been skinny...high metabolisms will do that to you. My other daughter isn't as skinny (nor is she as small, in general)...and yet we haven't really changed our eating habits very much between the two of them. That's just the way each of their bodies are built...and I love them each for it.

We've also recently gone through some interesting discussions with my 14-year old son in regards to trying to figure out how to balance his eating habits within the family. In the past, every time I talked to somebody about how I felt like he ate too much...or that when he did eat, he chose to always eat the most unhealthiest options...I would always get the general response "but he's a growing boy...he should be eating like that". It just seems crazy to me how our society so easily finds excuses for our horrible eating habits.

What has amazed me the most recently has been seeing the transformation of both his body and his mind since he moved in with us about six months ago. As I had mentioned before, we don't have a lot of unhealthy food choices within the house...and so whenever he does choose to eat, he still gets to make the choice of what he wants to eat. He even has the option to go buy something unhealthy, if that's what he wants to choose to do. Yet within the last couple of months, he's made comments to me about how sick he feels whenever he tries to eat something unhealthy (such as a McD hamburger). And even though he sometimes complains about the food choices at our house...he still makes comments to me about how he likes that he's eating healthier and likes being skinny and not overweight.

Ultimately, I like knowing that he knows he still has a choice to eat whatever he wants...and yet he will still always ask for my approval when eating certain things...even though the answer I always give him is "You know it's your choice". I've even specifically asked him if that's how he felt to make sure it wasn't just in my own mind. Now that doesn't mean I don't tell him when I like or dislike something...and I don't try to manipulate him...but I explain to him why I would or wouldn't eat/drink whatever item he's asking about. And then he knows he's still free to make his own choice.

For now we are moving on with our life as usual...as a continual work in progress. And I'm sure we will have many other diets along the way...but as long as I still feel like we're doing the best for our family, we'll keep doing it no matter what other people might think.

Work Sucks...So Why Do it?

That's the question I've been asking myself quite a lot recently. To explain, let me first give you a definition of what I consider "work". "Work", for me, is basically anything that I'm doing where the main intent is to earn money...and is something that, if I didn't need the money, I wouldn't be doing otherwise. A "job" would be something where I have reoccurring "work". So, with those definitions...if given the choice, why would anyone ever do work or have a job? If money was taken out of the picture...would anyone ever work?

A quick side note...I suppose you could look at it as a barter system instead...and that instead of doing the work for money, you're doing the work for other trade goods that you might need. So let's assume for a second that you don't need money or any other specific trade goods...would you work? Some people might say yes..."I like it when I'm working on _____". Okay...I'm not going to deny that that's possible. Everyone enjoys doing different things...that's what makes us work together well as a society. But that goes outside the definition I gave..."work" is something that you wouldn't want to be doing, if the money and/or trade goods weren't needed.

But everyone needs some money or some of kind of goods, right?...because we have basic needs that we have to fulfill like food, water, and shelter. Or we're also providing those things for other members of our family. So, no matter what, we all need certain things to survive. And if we're not already creating those things for ourselves, then we have to obtain them from someone else.

I know this is rambling somewhat...but bear with me...I'm almost to my point. So the main problem I see here, is that the majority of us aren't able (or willing) to provide those basic needs on our own. To get food/water...you need land...you need a supply of grown goods...you need running fresh water. To build an adequate shelter...you need supplies...and again you need land/location to build it. Without money, most of us can't obtain these things. So that leads us to where most of us are now...we come to the conclusion that we NEED money to obtain the things that we need to survive. And if we need money, then we NEED to work...and the easiest way to get consistent work is at a job.

And so a lot of us growing up come to the realization, mostly from the observation of those around us, that we not only need a job in order to live, but that we need a well-paying job so that we can cover our basic needs, as well as all the other things that we think we "need". In my perception, it appears that most of us (including myself) end up sacrificing our happiness (or at least being able to always do what makes us happy) in order to do this work at this job. At least that's what I've been doing for the past 20 years...working at jobs that I don't really like...just so that I can make money.

We finally get to the big question that I have been trying to wrap my mind around...why can't everyone find something that they like to do...AND actually make money doing it...at least enough to provide the basic needs for yourself and your family. The biggest problem (at least for me) was fear...the unknown. Six months ago, I wasn't sure what it was that I would want to do, given the choice. Sure, I had some ideas, but only about what I liked to do...not exactly ideas about things that I could do that would actually make me money or provide for my basic needs.

So at first I was scared...I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to be doing...but I did know one important thing. I knew that there were people out there doing what I was wishing I could be doing...there were people out there doing what they loved...loving what they were doing...AND providing for their family's basic needs. So why couldn't I be doing that?...why couldn't I be doing "work" that made me happy?...that I enjoyed? Well, after a decent amount of thought and discussions with my wife...we decided it was time

And so after working as a professional engineer for over 13 years...I called it quits. It wasn't because I didn't like the people I was working with...it wasn't because I didn't like the place I was working. In a sense, it even wasn't the actual work itself...meaning, that as far as engineering work was concerned, in my opinion, it was pretty a good job for the pay. But even with all of those positive aspects of my job...it still wasn't making me happy...and therefore it wasn't what I wanted to be doing.

So here I am, almost 4 months later...I still don't have a "job" and I'm still not doing any "work". However, I am doing some things that I wasn't before...things that I really like doing and that are going to make me money. And with a continued positive outlook, I will be able to turn this experience into even more possibilities that will provide support for myself and my family.

For those of you out there who are looking down your path of life and wanting something a little bit more out of it...go ahead and take that leap...a leap of faith, if you want to call it that. Faith in the fact that many people out there are doing exactly that...they are taking the leap, and they are landing on their two feet and running with it. And above everything else...they are happy in whatever it is that they're doing.

One Family...Living a Simpler Life

As I've somewhat already stated, my family has been on an eco-friendly trend the past few years. One of our more recent eco-friendly goals has been simplification and minimization...of just about anything we can deal with at that moment. The idea is to remove the excess clutter and to just focus on the things in your life that you enjoy...this can easily lead to a much happier and much less stressful life. However, when you start doing the research on what the possibilities are, you quickly come to realize that simplifying your life isn't as simple as one might first think.

Little by little we've been reducing and removing anything that we don't feel like we really need. As we all have probably come to realize at one point or another in our lives...we collect a heckuva (they should really make that a word) lot of stuff (soon to be junk) over the years. Somehow or another it all ends up on shelves and in boxes...sometimes in the attic or the basement or the garage. Sometimes we end up buying a larger residence to accommodate all of the stuff. It just amazes me sometimes how much control all of this stuff has on our lives.

We first started our household reduction simply by going room-to-room and just dumping stuff we found that we didn't "need" in a bag or box. It was amazing how quickly those boxes/bags filled up. All of those items will soon be sold or donated...which is also a nice way to make a little extra cash.

The thing that freaked me out the most was all of the kid's toys. Even though we had had the girls toys somewhat nicely stored away in little cubbies and such...it just amazed me how quickly we had accumulated so many things for them. But if you think about birthdays...and christmas...and then just the random stuff we would buy them when we found something cool while we were shopping...it all adds up SOOO quickly. It's no wonder that they rarely ever want to play in their room with their stuff...it was just too overwhelming...where would they start?

So now...our house has been slightly rearranged. We've moved the girls stuff into a different, more centrally located room...and we minimized their things to the point where they actually love to play in their room again. Now we will probably need to figure out a method of cycling in new toys and cycling out old ones...but I think the days of just adding and adding and adding onto the existing base of toys and books and things is over.

Another big step that we recently took...which for some reason seems to have been looming over our head for way too long now...is moving towards minimizing down to a single vehicle. Two days ago we finally unloaded my wife's old Tahoe. It actually sold in only a few hours after we posted it online...for what we were asking for it...and it went to a woman who really really wanted a Tahoe. So it felt really good to sell it...not only just to get it off our backs...but to give it a nice home as well.

We still have two vehicles at the moment...but we're working towards selling our Camry Hybrid…it should also be a pretty easy sell.  I’m sad to have to sell it because if I could choose one of our vehicles to keep it would be this one... unfortunately, it doesn't have enough room for our periodic 6-passenger family requirement. So we'll stick with the one vehicle that does provide the adequate room. Perhaps we'll trade it in for a different similar vehicle in the near future...but we haven't really finalized any details about that...so who knows when that might happen.

I do want to note that even with the above changes, that we don't feel like we're anywhere near where we need to be on our road to simplification. There's still lots left to do...and it almost seems like we would never really achieve our simplest form...because there would always be something that we could really just do without. But for now...it feels good to have finished the portion that we have completed...and it feels good to know that we're all a little bit happier having done it.

For anyone interested in expanding their knowledge about ways to simplify or minimize your life, here are a couple of helpful websites that my wife introduced me to. The first link is a link to the page for the book Simplicity Parenting…a book about the benefits that simplifying your life can have on your children as well as helpful ideas to get the process started. This second link is from a blog-type website with lots of useful information for simplifying all aspects of your life. Zen Habits is a page from the site that I found helpful in finding information for simplifying certain aspects of your life.

I’m sure I’ll be talking more about this subject in the blog from time to time…so if anyone has any tips or suggestions for other ways to simplify...or even other websites or books...please leave them in my comments section. 

What is Me?

I've tried to start blogs before...with various degrees of success. I'm not necessarily expecting this blog to succeed any more than the others that were started and died out...I'm just not trying to put out too much expectations...but I'm hoping the desire behind producing this blog will coincide with my other current endeavors to alter my current reality to something that makes me happy. I know that might sound like an unusual statement to those that don't know me all that well...but to those who are aware of my attempt at shifting paradigms, that statement should be right on track.

So let me start with a quick summary of the last six months...since my reality has been greatly altered from what it was before that. I worked about thirteen and a half years in engineering firms...basically doing what I had been trained to do in college. It wasn't horrible work...and I liked most of the people I worked with...but surprise surprise, it was still "work". Last September, my wife convinced me to go to a conference called Rethinking Everything (linked for those that want to find out more about it). Some might call it "New Age" thinking...or some such. I don't really know what to call it (and I try not to put too many labels on it, you're welcome to put your own labels on it if you choose)...but all I know, is it changed my life. I started looking at everything completely differently...and I did what a lot of people might call "soul searching". In the end, two months later, I quit my job. I've spent the last few months trying to figure out what the title of this post is..."What is Me?"

I hope to use this blog for various means...mostly to allow myself to air out a lot of thoughts that I've had lately...and the decisions stemmed from those thoughts that are beginning to change the reality of what is me. I don't have any specific plans for the types of posts...I guess we'll just have to see what's eating at me each time I sit down to write.