Basically, our families got together without our knowledge and decided they needed to have a long talk with us. Some of them had been using my blog as their means of communication with us...in other words, they hadn't talked with us about what we were up to (on the phone or computer or in person)...and instead used my posts to find out what was going on in our lives. Obviously, this frustrated us to no end. Some might say that we should have been more communicative with them about what we we've been doing. But I don't think it's our responsibility to tell everyone what all of our plans are...and if any of them want to know what's going on, or what are plans are, we're more than willing to be open with them and tell them.
Well, so that's sort of what they did. I think we're just more frustrated with the method in which it was executed. Each and every family member that was involved had ample opportunity to contact us and talk with us directly. Not that we expect everyone to agree with our choices...but I don't think anyone expects everyone to agree with everything they do. I think our family is pretty used to the fact that we tend to do stuff outside the box.
We're okay with all of that...we're okay with the fact that we're living outside the box (obviously). Ultimately, the most important thing is that we believe that we're doing what's best for our kids. It's strange to see how much everyone is so concerned about us and our kids...especially knowing that every action and every change that we've made in our lives for the past 4+ years has been with our kids in mind, and trying to do what's best for them.
Even though I've made it a point to not use my blog as a means for family communication, I'm going to take this moment to direct a few comments at any family/friends who might still be concerned about our family situation. Please don't assume that we are not doing what's best for our kids...or that we might not have thought about what we are doing or where we might be six months down the road. Please don't assume that we are being foolish or that our finances are in trouble, especially when you don't know how much money we have, what we are spending it on, or how much money we are bringing in or might be earning in in the near future. And don't assume that we will run our family into the ground to the point that we will ask for assistance from our family, especially since we have never done that in the past, and don't ever plan on doing it in the future.
With all that being said, we're glad knowing that we have loving and caring family members who are concerned because they've been reading things on my blog that freaked them out a little. I would like to notify anyone that is reading this blog to not take these posts as the final word on everything that we're doing. I am not using the blog as a means to communicate with my family or friends. If anyone reads something and wants to discuss the subject further...please comment here or message/email/call me. I like that my family is interested in what we are doing, and obviously I feel passionately about it, so I would love to talk more about it.
I'm sure I will be talking more specifically about the things that were brought up in the next few blogs that I'll post, as it's all that I've been able to really think about these past few days...so thanks again for the additional material.
This will be my first and last comment regarding your blog. I won't be reading your posts anymore. Our lunch discussion was informative and long overdue. Even though we see you more often than the out of town relations, we don't discuss the difficult stuff when we are together for various reasons. So, let's keep talking. I love you.
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ReplyDeleteAndrew, when I randomly stumbled on your blog from the KOA forums a few weeks ago, I had a hunch that this "family intervention" was in the pipeline. Coming from an East Asian family, I can tell you for a fact that my family would have done the same to me weeks earlier.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I want to share a thought with you about playing the game of Life. We all play it in our own way, and the rules of Life are myriad and complex. However, I will venture to say that there is a standard deviation of the way Life is played, and that anything over "x" standard deviations is considered "abnormal" by the rest of the population who are within x deviations.
Nothing frustrates those "normal" people than those deviants. It is because refusing to stay within the bounds of acceptable societal norms forces those within those norms to question their own Life. It is even more disconcerting for them to see the deviants achieve success outside the standard, because then it would become a threat to the normals.
And unfortunately, having a job is one of those tenants of normality. Going to church, and marrying the opposite sex used to also be sacred tenants, but those are fast crumbling in our generation. But the idea of a working stiff is still solid in the common mind. A 9-5 job gives security, proves responsibility, maturity, and discipline. Who cares if we don't necessarily always like what we are doing? It is the price of growing up.
Bravo to you and your wife for taking this leap of faith. I did much the same when I joined the military 6 years ago, even though I was a sophomore at Harvard at the time. (Can you imagine the fallout from my East Asian family??) Do what feels right in your heart, pursue it with passion, and be prepared to face the music, with dignity, if you fall flat on your face. Good luck Andrew!
@Deva
DeleteSorry for not getting back with you sooner. As you can see by my latest blog, I've been working on moving my site over to a new location...so I haven't had the time to do my normal blogging/commenting. But now I should be back in full swing.
I appreciate your comments and insight on the subject. It's nice to know that there are those out there like yourself who can relate to what I'm doing, and be supportive...even if my family is having a difficult time with it.
If you would like to continue viewing my future blog updates, please check me out at:
http://playingdad.com.